Common goals in a culture of ‘Agreeing to Disagree’
Today we explore the phrase, “let’s agree to disagree” in company culture. What does this phrase mean? How can it cause a hiccup in the fluid operations of a business? What about the impact on collegial relationships?
The phrase is reported to have been first used by John Wesley in a memorial sermon for George Whitefield, both evangelists and pioneers of Methodism during their time. Wesley used the term agreeing to disagree as means of highlighting the differences in doctrinal beliefs that each of these clergymen had.
But what does that even mean? Is it truly an agreement?
In a culture that is over-powered with the mantra of ‘Me and my opinions’, how does one live with the reality of another person not agreeing with your own ideologies, opinions, thoughts, wishes, desires, objectives, goals, (the list is endless)? Are you bothered that the other individual does not see your point of view? Are you building resentment toward the individual because of this?
While this is more common in personal relationships, the difference in opinions does invade the workplace as well. The difference is that because of hierarchal authority a lot of time leaders are not ‘confronted’ by employees. The disagreement often shows up as a lethargic work ethic, lack of motivation or in some cases ‘coldness’ and being difficult.
As leaders it is important to realize that every individual has the innate need to feel validated. When employees feel validated there is a greater tendency for them to ‘show up’ to work. When individuals feel heard they will be more apt to share their opinions in the future – which can prove to be very valuable. Much the same as leaders, employees also like to feel admired, respected and valued.
So how do you validate and not compromise on your professional objectives for your business?
One way of working through this and avoiding these agreeing to disagree scenarios is calibration. We have seen a large tendency of leaders to ‘hold their cards close’. This does a great deal of disservice to the team effort that is needed to achieve the common goals of the business. When professionals within an organization or a sub-unit are calibrated then there is a greater deal of cohesion that is in play. The acronym for TEAM (Together Everyone Achieves More) drives this idea home! Sharing the vision and the mission and the road map, allows for all involved to really see your opinion as a leader and then offer some nutritive nuggets that fine tune the overall operation.
Traditional leadership styles dictate that sharing information upfront makes you vulnerable. But what if I said, that if you avoid vulnerability, it could diminish workplace efficiency? Being vulnerable about your plans and objectives allows a ‘subconscious’ on-boarding of those you lead in your project. There is a stronger ‘buy-in’ and a greater motivation to support the cause.
As leaders, when we find ourselves in a situation where there is difference in opinions, we also find ourselves in the opportunity to grow. The times when the difference in opinions causes conflict, don’t look at it as a negative. These are times, there is a greater opportunity to shine as leaders.
It may also be wise to seek counsel from business or a leadership coach for situations where the goals and objectives of the business are at stake or if agreeing to disagree is getting to be difficult.
As leaders, it is important to realize that, leading is necessary in all respects – Our behaviors, our ideals, our thoughts, our opinions, our communication, our silence, AND our vulnerabilities. Leaders aren’t meant to grow alone, they grow because the organization or the individuals they lead, grow.
It is time for leaders to set up common goals that can be achieved with a greater understanding of individuality and the differences it brings and while we can agree to disagree – compromise doesn’t have to become the norm! Make calibration the norm!
